Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: Pragmatism » antigua3

Posted by Dinah on November 8, 2007, at 11:21:39

In reply to Re: Pragmatism » Dinah, posted by antigua3 on November 8, 2007, at 6:27:13

I suppose with any given person it doesn't matter if expectations are reasonable or not. :( They're either likely to be met or not likely to be met, and that really has little to do with us. After all, it is possible to find people who are willing to meet quite unreasonable expectations, and others who through lack of effort or lack of willingness or just lack of the ability are unlikely to meet even the most reasonable expectations.

In fact, I can probably count myself in both categories at different times and situations. :)

And that's where I need to add high standards to the recipe for happiness. Because without them, low expectations can lead to a different sort of unhappiness.

My cousin once asked me where I found such *nice* boys to date. I didn't say so out loud, but I was somewhat taken aback. It wouldn't occur to me to date anyone who wouldn't be classified as "nice". Any particular boy might not have met my expectations of minimal date behavior. And it would be silly of me to take one who didn't and try to hope he'd become one who did, or to convince him that he was supposed to. I'd be far better off lowering my expectations for that particular person and enjoy what contact I had with him without actually considering him a suitable candidate for dating.

So lowered expectations for individuals, but high standards for what I felt I deserved? Basic things like respect and I suppose "niceness".

So I think that might be the key to happiness.

But I think about those things, and I have since I was a child. And I suppose in some ways it is a rather cool way to live a life. That's what worries me. I think I maybe should be more warm and spontaneous.

(And not to say that it doesn't sometimes take me a while to recognize that lowered expectations are a wise course of action in a given situation.)

 

Thread

 

Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post


Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.

 

Start a new thread

 
Google
dr-bob.org www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for
in

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Dinah thread:793593
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071105/msgs/793934.html