Posted by seldomseen on October 17, 2007, at 12:33:59
In reply to Feeling kinda shaky, posted by happyflower on October 17, 2007, at 11:47:54
Yeah, i'm sorry you're on unsteady ground right now, but this will pass. On the other hand, I am really glad that you got a good nights rest. That help sooooo much.
When I was re-living most of the trauma from my childhood, I experienced a lot of the same things you describe. I found the key is to find something - a picture, a piece of furniture - god anything - that is your "anchor" in the here and now. Something physical that you can grab hold of and really say "I am in the present, I am alive and this is my life".
Unfortunately, I think some of this re-trauma is prerequisite in order to fully process what happened to us. People say "Oh therapy should be handled in a way such that we aren't ever re-traumatized" but I just don't think that is realistic. I mean - Hello! We WERE traumatized as kids!! We need to process the trauma people!!!
But anyway, try to keep in mind that this is the adult HF now and you are ultimately in control of your boundaries. Your mom can not hurt you anymore. It may feel like she can, but that is the powerless child talking - not the adult HF. It's okay, that child needs a voice, but remember the adult HF rules the day now. She rules the day.
As far as your mom being at your T's office - I think that's a good place to leave her. T's can handle problematic parents from the past and until you feel able, maybe you can just turn that role over to him? I've never tried it, but it maybe one way to keep her contained while you do the work you need to do.
I hope this is civil, but I really really don't like your mom too much.
Take good care.
Love and peace
Seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:789751
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071009/msgs/789759.html