Posted by Dory on October 14, 2007, at 19:26:03
i was about four when i first "tried to be dead." i didn't try to kill myself, i didn't know what that meant or how one did such a thing. i would just lay still and try not to breath. i thought i could just make myself be dead. STupid eh?
i find myself pretty much doing the same thing now.
funny how pain comes in waves, receeds a little so you think things might be improving, and then it washes over you again worse than before. the tide is coming in it seems.
i'm tired of complaining. i'm tired of feeling like i need to.
i want out now.
out of this mess.
out of this life i have.
out of misery.
out of confusion.please... someone make this stop now.
i am a little like "my fair lady." i was in a different world many years ago. i knew nothing about the career path i am on. i knew nothing of good art, or literature. i had a degree but i was mindless really. No real critical thinking. No poetry. Now my world is different... i have seen and heard and i know things. But i don't belong in this world, i can't be here, not anymore, not on my own... but now i don't belong *there* either. i am unfit for either. My life is a joke, and a bad one at that.
i belong neither here nor there. No place to go.
i am so tired inside i ache sometimes.
poster:Dory
thread:789276
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071009/msgs/789276.html