Posted by RealMe on September 23, 2007, at 23:34:20
In reply to Re: Retraumatized, CSA Trigger » RealMe, posted by Poet on September 23, 2007, at 12:57:58
I hope it goes well by trying just one incident. This is what I did, and it was extremely painful talking about it and feeling the emotion, and I did start crying which I simply hate doing in front of my therapist. He was helpful though in terms of also showing how it connected to some now experiences, and so I left feeling very sad but also hopeful. Of course this waxes and wanes. Some days I want to say to him go to hell and did last week. It is very exhausting to go into talking about that stuff.
You said something about how long you had been in therapy and not worked on it. I know the feeling. There was a time I was in therapy for 9 years and refused to talk about it. Then we moved away. I was not in therapy for 11 to 12 years, but when I learned my old T had died, I was devastated. Then everything went to hell in a handbasket, physically and mentally. My last T did not help and made matterts worse by recommendding the ECT that I did but quit early. I have only been seeing my new T since the beginning of May, and I have started to talk about the past crap. I could tell he was a caring person, etc. right away, and I figured as much as he costs, I better just spit it out. So, I did, and now I want to back track all the time.
It is not easy to get it out, and it is not easy to continue to look at it. I go one incident at a time and then on to something else the next time we meet. I just cannot continue with going over the past stuff session after session. I need a break or I will be a basket case. I hope it goes well, and yes please let us know how therapy goes. I fully understand not wanting to experience the pain, but think of it this way, you are already in pain, and the first step is to start to get it out so that the damn pain can be finally once and for all relieved. I care what happens to you, and so do a lot of others.
RealME
poster:RealMe
thread:784475
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070916/msgs/784770.html