Posted by Tamar on August 13, 2007, at 9:16:44
In reply to Re: ***** Long, tedious and triggery *****, posted by slugdoo on August 13, 2007, at 2:58:34
> It sounds like he needs some stiffer boundries for himself. He is messing up and when T's do that, it caused us to suffer. But I know you know that. He does sound very distracted, so it must be something, but that something shouldn't interfer with his job, at least not this many times.
I guess... some things can't be changed. After all, if his partner is ill (for example) it's going to interfere with his work. And I do believe his partner should come first, if that's what it is. At least, I believe it at a rational level. I would find it easier if I knew what the problem was, because then I could meditate (pray, cast spells, or whatever) about it...
> One thing my old T was good at , he NEVER called to cancel with me in 2 1/2 years, and he is never more than 5 mins late either. It did give me a sense I could count on him. That is so important I believe. I would feel like you if this happened to me with my T. I don't think it is your fault for wanting more, you DESERVE more. Have you ever brought this issue up?
Wow, I'd love it if my therapist were that reliable. Twinges of envy... Yes, I DO deserve more, and I do bring it up because every time it happens I feel a little more anger and a little more self-hatred. He can't do very much about it though, except tell me he will be the best therapist he can be (which appears to be a slightly unreliable therapist). I asked him once to reassure me that he still wanted to work with me and he said, "I think you know, Tamar, that I don't think it's helpful to offer you that kind of reassurance." The 'I think you know' part hurt the most. I really resent his refusal to reassure me after letting me down.
> It sounds like you have some big issues you are working on and you deserve better treatment, you need to be able to rely on him or the trust will just not be there. (((((Tamar))))))) I am so sorry things are going tough for you.
Thanks for the hugs. I keep hoping he'll get more reliable. Who knows what the future holds?
poster:Tamar
thread:775888
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070807/msgs/775960.html