Posted by Honore on August 6, 2007, at 15:55:37
In reply to Therapist is going to be even more concerned now, posted by OzLand on August 5, 2007, at 22:29:33
Hi, Ozland. That sounds terribly disappointing and painful. It's so hard when seeming friends let you down-- when you look to them for concern and response-- and they back away, or become defensive.
I know how hard it is, though, to be a good friend. I try very hard myself-- even when I have conflicting loyalties-- to give my best to friends-- and to do the right thing by them. Maybe these women don't know how to handle those moments when they feel torn, or uncertain-- or start to feel they have to take sides-- and somehow have retreated to the awful position of slightly ganging up on one person. If so, that's really unworthy of them.
I very much hope there isn't any of that-- that's so awful when it happens-- and so often happens so incomprehensibly-- Often people give in to the one who's a greater threat-- and lose all sense of empathy, because they fear someone's turning their wrath on them. It does take a certain amount of courage sometimes to be a good friend-- and to say things in a careful, respectful, but clear way, to an angry person, -- that that person doesn't want to hear. Maybe whoever is attacking you has a tendency to do that-- and these women are responding self-protectively, rather than standing up for what's right. I don't know-- I've seen that happen too many times-- and often been baffled at the choices people make.
There are good friends out there, though. I'm fortunate to have one or two, I think (although I try not to expect too much, either)-- people I work with, with whom I've developed deeper relationships. I hope they would stand by me-- I know I would do that for them, no matter what.
But if you use this,as you say, to look more closely at who you pick as a friend-- and how you might overlook signals that the person isn't so trustworthy--it might be a chance to learn something valuable. But, you know-- it's so easy to be charmed and to care about people-- and only later to learn what they're like on a deeper level. It hurts when it happens-- but it's tempting too, to believe the best about people, and to be trusting.
Have any work problems have arisen, so far.? I'm glad you're back on the Parnate, although I hope taking it hasn't meant residual problems with whatever was causing you to cut back.
Hope this is a better day, though.
Honore
poster:Honore
thread:774219
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070726/msgs/774351.html