Posted by TherapyGirl on July 12, 2007, at 19:08:12
In reply to Opinions and advice, please..., posted by TherapyGirl on July 11, 2007, at 17:34:03
I think this was the best session we've had since April. Not perfect and the connection is not restored by any means, but I did feel glimmers of it tonight. And she was more on the ball with me than she has been in a long time.
I think she finally gets the gynecological triggers in full. We even talked about my potential hysterectomy and I told her my big block to that is the fear of more intolerable pelvic exams before the surgery. She suggested medication, which I agree with (as several of you also suggested), but I told her the doctors have mostly acted like I'm a big baby and wimp and think there is no reason for it to be so painful and that they shouldn't offer anything. She said she would write a letter saying whatever she needed to say to ensure that I got some kind of medication before the next exam and she said she could do it in good conscience. Of course, that's because her conscience thinks she's seeing the shell around my possible csa cracking. Sometimes I agree with her, sometimes I talk myself out of it. But I asked my primary care doc yesterday about other possible reasons for the extreme pain and she agreed with everybody else that she wasn't seeing anything in the reports that would explain that.
My T feels like she's on her way back to me and I feel hopeful about our relationship for the first time in months. The first weekend of her vacation, I left her a voice mail for after the vacation where I said that it felt like she wasn't seeing my 3-year-old anymore and that was upsetting because she's the only person who's ever acknowledged her. I reminded her that while I am dealing with most situations with my adult self, the 3-year-old is the one who has to be dealt with around issues of safety and all things gynecological. She brought it up tonight and actually admitted that she had been more recently focused on the adult me because I've been doing so well, which is generally true. But she seemed genuinely pleased to have the information from me reminding her of my 3-year-old's needs.
And we met inside for the first time in at least a month because I was having a migraine when I got there and couldn't take the light or the heat outside. That was okay, too.
So thanks to all of you who have hung in there with me. It's feeling a bunch better right now. I hope it continues.
poster:TherapyGirl
thread:769018
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070628/msgs/769215.html