Posted by TherapyGirl on July 2, 2007, at 18:34:19
In reply to Re: What's Constitutes a Win?, posted by Honore on July 2, 2007, at 9:08:07
Amen, Honore. Especially this:
<<But, one thing: there are moments when it comes to feel like a power struggle, but I think the question jammer and Therapygirl are concerned with is about much more. It isn't what constitutes a win, but what constitutes enough of a response, to reach beyond the sense of abandonment and repetition, and transform the abandoner and abandoned person, into different people (or give you a sense of a different meaning of the event). That is, to see your T differently from your old experiences. As someone who's staying in spirit, for example, even if they're going-- and not really abandoning you, even if they can't stay.>>
One of the many things my T is saying to me now is that this feels like "old stuff" to her -- that I am reacting as if I'm 3 and she's my mother and she's abandoning me. In moments, she admits to the distance (one of the things she said to me on the phone last week is that she has to, "keep a distance from everybody right now."), but thinks that I should trust her and our connection enough to weather it. I can't seem to do that, though, especially when the behavior doesn't change and she doesn't seem to understand what I'm telling her.
It's so very frustrating. I am really at my wit's end. And, no, I have no idea what would satisfy me in this situation. And I have no idea how to get the connection back.
poster:TherapyGirl
thread:767054
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070628/msgs/767237.html