Posted by B2chica on June 21, 2007, at 14:29:18
In reply to Re: letter to 'mother'...***TRIGGER*** » B2chica, posted by Happyflower on June 21, 2007, at 10:39:17
hi HF.
infact i question even more now...why her 'love' for me was so conditional???
why did she always see me as 'bad'?
i LOVE my DD no matter what. even when she becomes older and 'hates' me...i will love her even MORE!! and will tell her that!i just dont understand...i could NEVER, NOT show her how much i love her. i cant imagine NOT hugging her and telling her EVERY Freaking day how much i love her! ....d@mn, what i would have done for one freaking hug from my mom...one soothing word...one sign of affection. well, i could give a cr@p less now...
i think having this child will heal me more than all the therapy in the world. it gives me the chance to (in a way) undo what my 'mother' did by making sure i do things (or dont) with my DD.
i think what is hard for me is when people that dont know say "we learn to mother from our mothers.." or something equally distressing. i feel trapped, like no matter how hard i work im destined to repeat my mothers actions. :(
it takes me a while to realize again that i dont HAVE to repeat that cycle....or i tell myself that i will imitate...my MIL...
-she is the epitome of motherhood and patience. i thank God she is in my life! (and my DD)
and YES. my DD makes me stronger...100x. see, i still cant seem to stand up for myself...but i SURE can for her.from one learning mom to another...thank you, thank you for understanding.
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:764491
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/764755.html