Posted by Dory on June 10, 2007, at 20:30:18
In reply to my T - therapist or mentor? (long), posted by wishingstar on June 10, 2007, at 10:48:24
wishy i am too tired to read all the replies... i am sure you have gotten lots of good advice already. i am wondering if Laurie could set you up with someone else as a mentor. Your connection with her has been stabilizing for you.. without your own stability you don't have a career at all. Your own health has to come first. There will be plenty of good mentors...Laurie had to learn from someone. Ask her for help in finding someone else.
but there are some things about what you said that struck me... i don't know if you need to learn to hide behind professionalism, or to make things not matter.. it reminds me of when i was training doing pre-vet. The pain we inflicted on animals (even if it was to help them) the horror of cutting into live flesh (it's harder than you think).. animals that died despite best efforts and the animals we put down. SOmetimes the sh*t i saw was enough to drive anyone insane... mistreated, neglected animals brought in to be put down for no good reason and i was powerless to do anything about it...
i helped put down a small litter of kittens... and i asked the vet if it ever got to a point where it didn't bother you. She said if it did you should quit. SHe said the animals always stuck with her and she felt pain for each one.
But there is a distance, a flexible wall you have to make to keep yourself from going insane. It would do you nor your clients any good if you got drained by each and every one. You have to put caring out without taking their pain in too much. You allow each one to impact you and stay with you, but not destroy your own energy.
i was able to do it for some of the work i did. The clinic work wasn't too bad, we were helping most of the animals and they had good owners. The shelter and farm work killed me. i'll never do it again. i wasn't able to get the distance needed to keep myself ok. i still cry myself to sleep over some of the horrors i saw.
i am sorry this came out sounding like it was about me.. but i am speaking of the parrallels you know? That distance is what you are thinking about, regardless of the career. Is it cold, uncaring? is it hiding behind professionalism? Big questions with no clear answers. i think the thing is to find where your distance threshold is and to work within those limits... so you might be able to safely work in one therapeutic area but not another. See what i mean?
It's a rough thing wishy. i couldn't make that wall, even a flexible one.
But don't give up Laurie, not until you have a good connection with someone else.
poster:Dory
thread:762156
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/762253.html