Posted by wishingstar on June 10, 2007, at 10:48:24
I'm in an interesting situation and I'd like your alls advice or thoughts.
I posted an update about the girl client of mine (who I had to call CPS on recently) a few threads up. I wrote some about this issue in that post, but I'm struggling a lot with the idea that guides therapy and being a therapist.... the idea that I have all this power to hurt someone, and then if I do, can (and am expected) to be removed from it emotionally and say "it's just my job" and move on to the next client. Not let it effect me. Not get emotionally involved in it. Not feel bad. Hide behind the professionalism. People I know who have been therapists for longer say it gets easier, but I wonder.. does it get easier, or do you get better at hiding behind the professionalism? Because if it's just that I get better at hiding from it and pretending it doesnt matter, I dont want that ability or that kind of power over people. I know hurt is a part of therapy and unavoidable sometimes. It just feels wrong for my client to be hurting so badly, feeling so betrayed and hurt, and for me to just go home ans pretend it doesnt matter.
Anyway, I emailed my old T Laurie about this. I've seen Laurie on and off for almost eight years. She's smart, a wonderful therapist, and I really respect her judgment. She emailed me back and said this:
"I would like some time to think about your proposal. What it sounds like you are looking for, and rightfully so as a beginning therapist, is good peer supervision or a mentor. I went through this as well when I was starting out and my therapist made it clear to me that she cannot be my mentor, I should find someone different for that, and that she is my therapist. Two different things. If we decide to discontinue my role as a therapist with you, and become your mentor, the relationship boundaries will be clearer. In any event, I will let you know what I think our best approach will be after I consult with some colleagues on this. Ask yourself what you are needing most now—a supervisor/mentor relationship or a therapy relationship. The difference between the two is the therapy relationship is working out issues about yourself and your own history as they effect who you are today in an attempt to be as authentic with your self and others as possible. The sup/men. rel. is about how you as a person effect the therapy with your clients, and how they effect you, and gaining insight into the process of therapy with clients. Think on this and we’ll talk about this again soon, perhaps in our next scheduled session when you come in. Laurie "
I'm going in to see her probably this Tuesday. I dont know what to do. I feel like I could learn SO much from Laurie... it seems like it could really be one of those career-shaping experiences for me. As corny as it sounds, I want to be just like her as a therapist. BUT.... having Laurie as a therapist, a fall back when things go wrong, etc is so important to me too. I hold on to the idea that she's always there and I can go back, if I need to, when things get hard. It'd be hard to give that up. Of course the mentor relationship would include some talking about my own issues anyway, but I'd lose the ability to talk to her about many things I can now.
What do you all think? I know this got awfully long.. sorry. I'm just really torn. I'd appreciate thoughts/ideas/etc on both sides.. anything that will give me more to think about. Thanks you all....
poster:wishingstar
thread:762156
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/762156.html