Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on June 1, 2007, at 14:00:18
In reply to Re: Please help me explain this to my T, posted by Happyflower on June 1, 2007, at 8:01:40
First of all, a big hug
(((((((((((((((((((hug for jammer)))))))))))))))))))
It might help you to write and answer some of these questions for yourself, before you expect your T to be able to provide the answers for you
1) What am I afraid of (in life. in therapy?)
then start listing stuff. For me it would go something like this
I don't want to clean the house
I'm afraid of the stress of moving
I'm afraid that I won't survive the mood intact
I'm afraid of making new friends and connecting with a new T
I'm afraid of pushing people away, or not following up on relationships that I've forged
I'm afraid of ending up alone
I'm afraid of ending up alone forever
I'm afraid that there will be nothing to live for after I moveI've never done this before, by the way. ouch. it hurts to get down to the core of our fears.
maybe you can do a similar one with "hurt" as the topic. Again, I'll use myself as an example
How do I hurt?
my head and chest hurt
I hurt because I'm anxious about travelling
I hurt because I'm scared that if I don't hurt a doctor won't take me seriously
I hurt because I want the attention of doctors
I hurt because I want medicine to take care of me
I hurt because I want therapy to take care of me
I hurt because if medicine and therapy don't take care of my hurt then I will be all alone with my hurt
I hurt because I'm scared that if I am left alone I will die from hurt.Sh*t. I better write this stuff out for MY T. good god.
I have no idea if this will help you organize your thinking. It might help you if you wrote it all out and allowed your T to work from the bottom up. She (and you?) may be getting stuck in the superficials of "you said" "I said" without getting to the root of the problem, which is probably all wound up with fears, hurts, and their friends (anxieties, loss, pain...)
you are brave to mention this to your T. you will no doubt have a stonger relationship once you can find a way to lead the discussion to the next level (since she's kind of stuck, obviously)
best to you,
-Ll
poster:LlurpsieNoodle
thread:760595
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/760770.html