Posted by Honore on June 1, 2007, at 1:48:52
In reply to Re: Please help me explain this to my T, posted by DAisym on June 1, 2007, at 0:26:32
Hi, jammer.
Sorry I didn't get back earlier.
Daisy said some of what I was talking about with my T. That is, that sometimes when one gives details of what happened-- the history of how you got to whatever you're feeling, or wanting, now-- the other person gets lost in the explanation.
That's what my T was saying: if I have a question, I need to push away all the introductions to it--- and say only what I want to know or what I need, in the present moment. Because those end up being distractions, and get the other person away from what I need now. Often the history has some kind of blame, or blaming- sounding thing for the other person-- so they too get caught up in justifying themselves-- when that doesn't help me at all-- in fact, it often confuses and frustrates me-- because it doesn't deal with my issue now.I think maybe your T is getting caught up in the forest-- because she doesn't yet know the core of what you need, or are concerned about. She isn't aware of your fears for what will happen between you and her now, and for the future- Even though you're very aware of how you came to feel this-- in a sense, what matters for the moment is not that-- but how to move into the future with her -- ie the history of the concern is- getting in the way of saying clearly what your concern is.- now
In talking to my T, I realized how often I do get caught up in long explanations and preambles-- and how that prevents the other person from understanding what I really want. It might be happening here, too.
I don't know if that helps, but I hope a does, a little.
Honore
poster:Honore
thread:760595
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/760716.html