Posted by Happyflower on May 29, 2007, at 11:36:27
Is this depression, when you just want to be left alone in your miserable sadness? I want to be left alone to cry. Feeling like crying all the time, even when the simplest things like hearing a song playing on the radio.
Not wanting to be lonely, wanting someone to care or love me, but yet don't want anyone to be around myself right now. Don't want to infect anyone with my nastiness.
Wanting to be a mom, an involved mom, but yet it is so hard to do that when you want to be alone. I am failing my kids, they will probably forgive me, I haven't always been this way, but I am sure it is effecting them too. I hope not premantely.
I try so hard to fight this, I know the signs, I studied it for heavens sake, I know how to help myself, but it is so damn hard to even try. I should *know* better.
Ever feel dispair from life? Ever ask why you are here on this earth? Why does life do this? Why is it so damn hard to have happiness? I know others feel this way, but yet I feel alone in my stuggles.
I saw a magnet today at Barnes and Noble it said, "Normal people are just people you haven't gotten to know yet."
How do I get myself out of this, I feel like I am walking in wet sand up to my knees, and my feet are getting heavier and heavier to move. What if I stop moving, will I drown in the quick sand? Is it a bottomless pit? Is it hell? Is depression one level away from hell?Why does it feel like I have died inside? If you are dead inside, can it even come back to life or is a terminal illness that robs you of everything? I just don't know.
poster:Happyflower
thread:760169
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/760169.html