Posted by wishingstar on May 24, 2007, at 9:55:08
In reply to Re: update... doing well, posted by raisinb on May 23, 2007, at 14:45:37
Well, I do feel like shes trying to push me out. Like shes saying "you can stay, but PLEASE GO", even though she freqently says she isnt trying to tell me I have to leave. I want to rebuild our relationship... I used to trust her a lot and we had a good connection. But everytime I go in to therapy, ready to talk, ready to be really open and see where it goes, we end up in this discussion about where we're at, whether I've thought more about staying versus trying someone new, whether quitting and taking a break from therapy all together would be good, etc. It feels impossible to rebuild a relationship when someone keeps reminding you of that. I've told her how I feel about that, and that its frustrating, but I dont think she gets it. Last time I was there I fought back tears for 10 min (I never cry in therapy) because I had so many things I wanted to talk about.. and I was so excited to see her and tell her what had happened.. and she brought up all that stuff first. It just totally shut me down. After that conversation was over, she asked what I wanted to talk about and I just said I dont know. I just cant.
I made appts with a few new Ts. I made a thread below about it. I really just miss the old Ginny. I used to see her twice a week. I agreed to see her in the beginning based on the promise that I'd be able to do that. Then in Feb. or so, 2 minutes to the end of the session, she said we had to stop twice a weeks (agency rule) and was surprised I looked sad. This is where the "you can go somewhere else" started. She never really understood how I felt about it and we never worked through it... it just got pushed under the carpet. I fianly stopped mentioning it because I know she isnt going to get it.
Ginny really is a wonderful person. She cares a lot.. she even came and visited me in the hospital. We get along really well, laugh a lot, etc. I will really miss her. What I'm asking for seems to simple (some validation, reassurance, etc).... I dont undertand why she cant just do it.
poster:wishingstar
thread:758722
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070505/msgs/759217.html