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Anxiety out of control...

Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 21, 2007, at 19:55:00

Too many things happening.

All these stupid things all at once.

I missed the deadline for ordering my dumb graduation gown. will I be naked?

I had to go to the big city today for an appt at rush hour and I was late (no consequences) because the bus broke down.

traffic

Dr. Appt. for this embarassing problem

Worried about talking to new T's on the phone.

Meditated last night. There was some powerful somatic feelings of intense fear. I feel like they still haven't quite abated.

no T tomorrow. I usually see her 2x a week. this week only once.

I am supposed to be taking good care of myself.

I have to have good skin by this weekend, because I'm going to a formal party. I hate having a big giant zit all caked over with makeup.

Don't really know what the intense fear is about. the daily sh*t is enough. the old sh*t looms large.

Okay. that was my rant.

Now my confession. I'm supposed to be taking klonopin for these feelings, but I don't because I don't want to feel dependent, and because I love to live off of the stress, thinking that it makes me more productive. Well, it does, to a certain extent and then it just makes me shut down. out of order.

oh. I don't know. I kind of put it on 'pause' for several weeks. but it's back again.

enough about my day. how was yours?


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poster:LlurpsieNoodle thread:758675
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070505/msgs/758675.html