Posted by Dinah on May 5, 2007, at 22:30:04
In reply to Re: Extreme Honesty -- really long (trigger?) » Dinah, posted by Daisym on May 5, 2007, at 16:54:59
> And it does feel intrusive and almost presumptuous sometimes.
Yes it does. :( And I have a terror of that.
> If I've learned nothing else, at least I can recognize that any sentence that has a "should" in it needs to be examined. Why shouldn't you be upset about not being a priority to someone you care very much about? Of course that stings - even if your recognize the truth of it or the reality that necessitates it. I would argue that you *should* be upset about it, it is the appropriate emotional response. You didn't fling yourself on the floor screaming and you don't have any expectation that he will change this particular thing. But it hurts and that is OK. Just as it is OK that he is more careful not to hurt you right now, however unintentional the original hurt was. I think this is practice for when our kids have their own lives, as it "should" be...but sometimes it still sucks.
I really like that way of thinking about it, Daisy. Accepting the feelings as being ok. Or, in terms of what my therapist and I spent some time talking about, it's ok to want something, even if it's not something you can have.
poster:Dinah
thread:755643
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070505/msgs/756198.html