Posted by Daisym on April 18, 2007, at 15:18:39
In reply to Re: Daisy? Help! Trigger » Daisym, posted by antigua on April 18, 2007, at 11:52:04
<<<<<I think what I’m afraid of is that a whole new type of transference will occur, which probably will. The “paternal” transference was horrible (and still is), but what if the maternal transference is so much worse? I’m not sure I can, or am willing, to do that. I spent years dealing w/the paternal transference and I recognize it now, and I don’t know if I can ever stop it from happening with certain type of men, but what if “maternal” transference is so much worse? It seems so raw and child-like…
>>>>>>Now this is interesting. When you felt a paternal transference, what did it feel like? I think recognizing what certain people call out in us is all we can really ask of ourselves - eradicating it might just not be possible. But catching ourselves - now there's the trick.
Maternal transference I equate with a deep longing for safety and soothing. So womb-like, but without feeling suffocated or drowning -- just enveloped in the warmth of my mother and soothed by her consistent, predictible heart beat. Ah - the fantasy of safety.
It is raw and painful and I think, life-long grief.
After reading your reply, I was struck by how balanced it sounded and how healthy. Perhaps you really don't "need" your therapist anymore, because you have your mom in a deeper way. AND perhaps now you need your therapist in a different way, to have her be a stand in for some other deeply buried, potentially painful issue. So you are at a cross-roads - commit to figuring it out and opening it up or gently adding another brick to the top of that box and being OK with not opening it. I think both are fine, and I imagine, hard to choose between because there is always a pull to see things to "completion." But as long as we breathe there can't be completion, can there?
Anyway, thanks for asking for my advice, I'm honored. And as far as congrat's - I'm half done with the PhD - the clinical part is mostly done. I'm certified now though - I just have to expand the project stuff into a fullblown dissertation. Ug. I'm too old for this.
poster:Daisym
thread:749526
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/751071.html