Posted by muffled on April 14, 2007, at 23:36:09
I was getting out of the tub and it hit me. I DON'T WANNA. I don't want to let my T see my 'people'. NO NO NO.
I am ashamed of my weirdness. She gonna think I am SO weird. I have to be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO careful cuz what if someone says something and I can't stop her? What if something comes out of me that shouldn't????? Then EP will come and punish me for not being quiet and saying stuff I shouldn't and now I see what I write and WTF IS this??????????????Why do I write this????????????????????And I don't want to go to T but I want to see T. I HAVE to keep her away. HAVE to.I dunno what to do. I hope I not like this when the time comes I hope I all just calm like I can be sometimes and no emot and all calm cuz NOTHING bugs me.
I KNOW NOTHING AND I NEVER EVER WILL.So whats the point?
Muffled, I supposed to be muffled. Now I know why its a good name for me. I just picked it cuz I don't talk much irl. Just fax T.
I scared I gonna scare my T.
Then she will run away, and I will know the truth of me, that I gross and bad. She said I wasn't , that its lies. But if she runs away its TRUE.
I scared.
I muffled.
I wonder how to make the water come from my eyes. Cuz if it did, maybe the feeling in my throat would go away. My chest would deflate. And I wouldn't be dizzy.
Can't do that either though.
But I dunno why I like this? I had GREAT family. So lucky for me. Pets, trees to climb. Fishing, camping. All good.My sisters say s'all good mostly.
I just not good I guess.
Badly wired brain.
Sigh.
I sigh alot.
Maybe I should not do T?
Maybe it will go wrong?
I am tired now.
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:749935
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/749935.html