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Re: Help w/T, emotional expression*trigger?*

Posted by muffled on April 14, 2007, at 20:18:55

In reply to Re: Help w/T, emotional expression*trigger?* » muffled, posted by gazo on April 14, 2007, at 9:06:03

> i don't think this is as good as it can get because you *know* where the danger is. If you had no idea and felt vague then i think it woould be time for a break.

**?? You mean cuz I know what I want to work on? Its true the break was a good thing. Cuz it made me know i can make it OK on my own safely. But I still get tormented from time to time, and T mebbe thinks there's something to be done there....??? Something bout inner peace she said.
>
> maybe you could print out exactly what you just wrote and give her that. Maybe you could spend time talking about how you are afraid of making her afraid. Maybe there are ways of managing that anger... and maybe your fear of the anger itself is an excuse in a way. i'm not meaning that in a bad way, but the stuff we tell ourselves is often not accurate. When you worry about the anger exploding.. maybe it's really the fear behind the anger that scares you... the anger is a cover for it.

**LOL! Exactly! I think thats bang on. The rage protects. Also i am most definately scared of inside of me. Mebbe cuz I buried emtions so long, i don't understand them.
>
> a lot of times we are afraid of the fear. we hide it with anger.
>
> are there safe ways you could work out some anger? like kick boxing or something that requires a lot of physical exertion? That would be the best for me too if i were physically able.. but i am not.

**Sigh, my back is wrecked, I would LOVE to kick box. I would have made a good boxer, I can hit pretty hard(well, USED to!) and was very agile, and very fast reflexes, and tough as a boot. But now I over used my amazing body and now its wrecked. But I bike ride and punch the occasional tree.
>
> maybe the afraid part of you inside there wants her to be afraid so she won't come close.

**Yeah, I have done that. Sent her hurtful e-mails. Pissed her off(though she won't admit it). I'm ok with cclose as she is, its weird, but its OK.
>
> that's kind of what i am doing. if i dazzle my T with how f'ed up i am then maybe he'll be too busy to see how scared i am.

**yeah, It used to constant crisis control when I first started....but now its different.Sorry you so scared too.
>
> just some things to think about.

**Great ideas!!! You a wise one Gazo and I really appreciate your input.
>
> you know i think you are pretty awesome. i LOVE attitude. One of these days it would be really cool to see you see yourself as others see you.

**Yeah. I guess. I dunno who I am.
Take care Gazo.
Muffled

 

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