Posted by Honore on April 9, 2007, at 10:20:00
In reply to Re: tomorrow's the day but i am ticked off **trigg, posted by pegasus on April 9, 2007, at 9:54:10
I think Scented Garden's question is mostly an expressin of anger at his/her T, and the situation that evolved with her. The fact is, the meaning of a situation, the intensity of quality of the feelings, can never be reduced to the externals-- or situations.
We can love people in all sorts of unexpected wyas and places. And it's not possible to reduce or define what love is-- we recognize it, and try to make sense of it== but it just is. And we can't know what exactly it is for ourselves, much less others.
I don't think paying for therapeutic services from a T explains, or limits the extent and quality of the feeling-- or, for that matter, creates it. It is, it evolves out of what two people do and think and experience, it isn't predefined, or predetermined by the circumstances of their meeting-- nor is it enhanced or produced by them either.
If someone's T says s/he loves the patient=-- or someone loves their T-- that's means a tremendous amount. That's a precious and rare thing. But caring, of various degrees-- all of them entirely real-- is not rare. It's very often the case. It 's a real as any caring. It can be as deep as any caring.
It has spatial and temporal limitations-- based on, as notfred points out, the way the relationship was set up. It is and has to be carried out and felt within the limits of a therapy relationship, and always must be in the context of both the positive and curtailed possibilities of that context.
So of course it's important to tell your t what you feel about him or her, if that feels importnat. Sometimes it is; sometimes it isn't.
But I don't agree that the caring isn't the same--- or that it's because of the money. Or that, because the relationship requires the money, the caring has any real cause/effect connection to the money-- other than that's one of the defining characteristics that permits the relationship at all-- given our social expectations and forms.
Sorry for rambling, but I'm too tired to say this very well.
Honore
poster:Honore
thread:748171
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/748394.html