Posted by bil on March 30, 2007, at 10:42:17
In reply to unglued ****self harm TRIGGER****, posted by gazo on March 30, 2007, at 7:58:34
Gazo-
I do know EXACTLY what you are going through- I used to self-harm, too... the scars are fading on me, too- but I still think about it. I nearly did it today- it has been a really rough week, and the waves of despair just about knocked me to the floor, and I really, really wanted to hurt myself to make all that stuff go away.You could try what I do- (and yeah I know it sounds TOTALLY barmy... but it does work for me).
I stand in the middle of the floor and whirl both arms around as hard and as fast as I can... (Like a child being a helicopter) and shout "f**k off, f**k off, F**K OFF!!!"
If I have to, I stick me fingers in my ears and shout, "lalalalalalala... I can't HEAR you" to drown out the voices telling me i'm sh*t, horrid, that I deserve the pain... whatever.
Behave like a stubborn, temper-tantrum-throwing ANGRY little kid. 'Cos that seems to be where this comes from... our anger turns in on ourselves, 'cos it's got no place else to go- and we've got one royally pissed-off child in there, who nobody ever heard or saw.I agree with OneWomanCine... tell your T, but until you can see (him/her?) I have found that letting go of some of the fury is a good temporary way to not reach for that glass.
Like I said, it sounds totally weird... but I'm between t's, and have to do what I can to get through the bad patches on my own, and this is one that I've found helps.
(((hug!)))
bil
poster:bil
thread:745393
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070324/msgs/745430.html