Posted by scentedgarden on February 22, 2007, at 18:26:29
In reply to Re: My therapist has no sexual attraction for me » widget, posted by fayeroe on February 22, 2007, at 17:14:08
Hi .. I can fel for you..! rejection aint nice ever...and I totally understand, how can they not fancy you feeling, well why not?? it's a toughie for me too, and I think sometimes maybe , all I wanted was to be loved that way...>>>>>> went into therapy in love with a man, and ended up falling in love with the therapist (a woman).. and a woman not my type either..but after 2 yrs...i began to fall deep in love...but it was just the same feeling i had for my primary 2 teacher, and my high school teacher...>>>I told my T all this and she wsa kool about it...said it was just feelings... but then she said if it continued i'd have to see someone else...so i pretended it ahd gone away...instead of having a safe place to let myself understand what i craved from these teachers and now her.. I just pretended the sexual attraction was gone, and i turned it all into me being her child and her my mum...she was much more kool with this.. and liked the role i gave her as my mum...she played her part very well, and encouraged me to a large extent...>>>>>>anyway i would take the advice of Pat, and get another therapist..as on hindsight my therpay for the last few yrs has been a sham in some ways...as ive been hiding very strong feelings for her..and carrying the fantasy in my head of her and me sexually...even though just fantasy it has hurt me lots and lots... So, I dont think its worth it to stay and trouble yourself with this sexual attraction issue...lets face it they aren't there to find us sexually attractive, and if they do then thre is a problem... and if we do i guess thats a problem to... Some people are lucky and can work it all out with a good competant and confident therpaist...but others are not so lucky and just cant ever get satisfaction... Every therapy is different, so you must do what you feel is right in your heart and your head..whats right for you... I took advice the other day,aand ended up regretting it big time...as it meant ti let my therpaist know i was hinking of making a complaint about her...when i wasnt sure , but i was just angry..anyway i could have covered it up and not let her know i had said that..but on the advice of someone i went ahead and let her get the message...knowing full well she would be hurt and pissed off by the mere mention of it...(a complaint) now i have made things much worse for myself... So in the end I would say do what you feel is the right course for you... As i hvae had many good things come from the mother child transference bond we have had going on...it's been incredibly intense and satisfying,...sorry if im rammbling now... good luck with this and thnaks for posting... I really do understand your frustration... but in a way your lucky..he doesnt fancy you..so you may be able to do some good work!
What I dont understand is why out of all the teachers i ever had, did i only fall in love with one of them, and to this day i still love her...24 years later..!!! and i remeber the other teacher that i really loved when i was only little about 5 or 6 yrs old...out of all my teachers why those 2??? and why this therapist??
All women by the way...so does that mean I want my mother, or i am gay?? sorry these questions are not directed at anyone in particular, im just thinking out loud ... apologies..!!! but if anyone fancies trying to sine their wise light on anyhting...please feel free!! Lastly I hope what Ive shared ,, helps in some way for you Widget..!!!kind regards
scentedgarden
poster:scentedgarden
thread:735148
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070215/msgs/735177.html