Posted by toojane on February 7, 2007, at 10:02:24
In reply to Re: Survivors of suicide -- trigger, posted by one woman cine on February 7, 2007, at 7:36:30
I think I understand you much better now, One Woman Cine. I KNEW there must be something behind your posts.
I am very sorry for your terrible loss. The pain that suicide has caused you is clear in your writing.
I can also see now how my own posts upset you. If only you had shared this experience then. When you posted the article about the university compelling suicidal students to get help, you must have felt hopeful that if only such a policy had existed for your loved one, maybe they would still be alive. My arguing against the use of coercion must have hurt you.
I can only say that was never my intent.
I believe I have made my own views against the use of force and the need for prevention of abuse clear on other threads and do not want to reiterate them here. I'll only say that the purpose behind my posts was not to harm but to help (as well as to not feel so terribly alone).
Awful things happened to me. I do not want them to happen to others. Suicide happened to you and your loved one. You do not want it to happen to others.
We are more similar, perhaps, than either of us knew.
> The pain of suicide is complicated - but pain people feel ends at some point - but the pain of suicide never does.I think this sentence says volumes: while the pain of suicidal people will end at some point, you believe, the pain that suicide survivors feel never does.
I think that pain is pain is pain. I don't think that it is possible to say that this person's pain is temporary while that person's pain is forever. Everyone must bear their own pain. Some people are not able to.
I think what another poster said about some mental illnesses possibly being terminal is true. Like the family of cancer victims, there are some survivors who mourn the suicidal person's loss but are glad that their suffering has ended.
I did not know your loved one and cannot know their reasons, but as a suicidal person myself, I can say that I do not believe it is a decision that is made lightly or to purposefully cause another pain.
Perhaps if you could find a way to frame your tragedy as your loved one not being as strong as you and being unable to bear their own ""unspeakable agony" any longer, you could find a way to forgiveness and peace.
poster:toojane
thread:730369
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070203/msgs/730742.html