Posted by caraher on January 29, 2007, at 22:05:50
In reply to my T was being weird today..., posted by Karolina on January 29, 2007, at 20:52:16
> Maybe I am over-reading into everything, but it was like I was unconsciously putting out some sort of warning that I think about seducing him and he says it wouldn’t make him mad?? Is that odd??
I'm not sure. It depends a lot on *how* he said that. Was it as if he were giving you the OK to try it? That would be totally inappropriate.
On the other hand, he might simply be giving an honest answer. As a faithful, married man, would it make me *mad* if an attractive woman tried to seduce me? I can't honestly say that it would. At least not at first. But I'd be preoccupied with managing my reaction, both in terms of not violating my own morals in the face of temptation and also trying to be considerate of the feelings of this woman who is risking whatever a rejection might cost her.
Maybe "regular" guys would be angry. By which I mean, men who'd had more experience with women than I've had, who may be more jaded or something.
> I’m so confused. So I have some questions…
>
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> How far apart do you and your T usually sit from each other?Not ever as close as you did, except the time I brought in my laptop and showed her something on it. She sat next to me on her couch for that, and there was nothing odd about it.
> Do you ever feel like your T stares at you?
Not the way you describe. I have at times felt scrutinized... and the worst time was with an ex-T, where it wasn't even so much his looking as the remark he made about what *I* was looking at. But the story you tell... nothing quite like that.
> What do you think it meant when my T was staring at me like that?
It feels to me as if he was basking his power over you. Pushing the boundaries. If you were uncomfortable - and you clearly were - you should let him know about it. You should ask him, "Why so close?" You should tell him you thought he was boring holes through you with his eyes. There's good, positive eye contact, and then there's just being creepy. Maybe he wasn't as aware of what he was doing and how it looked to you as he should have been. Or maybe he was aware. Neither possibility is terribly comforting!
Sorry you had such a weird session!
poster:caraher
thread:727912
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070119/msgs/727949.html