Posted by muffled on January 23, 2007, at 18:35:26
In reply to Don't know what to call this., posted by littleone on January 23, 2007, at 14:34:30
> I can't find my T anywhere. Even when I'm right there with him, I can't find him.
*part of you knows he's there, if you like me, part of you is not letting him into your 'world'. Do you feel that mebbe something triggered your danger response?
>
> I'm worried the nothingness is coming. Need to stay away from the nothingness.*Nothingness is on a continum too. You can be just a little bit out or a lot out, but being a little bit out does NOT mean you will go alot out. Sometimes I come and go.
>
> The miserable 10 year old got triggered a couple of weeks ago and has been hanging around a lot more. I don't like that part. It's so unaccepting and rejecting of everything he says. I think it's why I can't find him.**ahhh. Danger response mebbe. I find it very hard when a part I do not like hangs around. What is it the 10 yr old wants do you think? Is it feeling unsafe and trying to protect? Does it need something else but can't get it? Maybe it just needs to be heard?
>
> When the miserable part is really bad, he plays hangman with us.**That doesn't sound very nice. How does that go?
>
> How do I find him again?**Your T IS there, remmeber that. You just can't acess him thru what is possibly anger of the 10 yr old. Is it at all possble for 10 yr old to talk to T? Even if its nasty?
>
> I don't want the nothingness. I know I should write or draw or something. But I don't have anything in me. I don't know why it's coming. Nothing really bad has happened to me.**Sometimes for me, I just don't know WHY? the nothingness. But sometimes I think when I fear it less, and accept that its there, but also remind myself that it WILL go away eventually. It seems to help.
>
> How do you feel your T again?**Can you tell him whats going on? Does he 'get' it?
The thot of grounding occurs to me, but I'm not sure its useful in the nothingness.
Maybe his voice? Can he leave you a voicemail to the part of you that needs him? and mebbe an accepting message to the 10 yr old? Then you can listen to the voice, and the tone of voice. Sometimes I listen to a T message and it sounds COMPLETELY different than the other times I have listened to it, and its a good thing, cuz then I get MORE out of it.
So I not sure littleone, but you sure helped me alot with stuff. Just today I talked to T bout teaching this body that its safe. NOT me, but THIS BODY. I was very clear on that.
So, its OK littleone, you are still here, your T is here, and you are still littleone, just someones fussing, and has fussed before, and you will learn from this, and mebbe you will be able to help the 10 yr old calm down a bit.
I am trying to understand.
Take care.
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:725609
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070119/msgs/725684.html