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Re: Body Memory **csa** (trigger) » Daisym

Posted by happykat on November 27, 2006, at 9:26:24

In reply to Re: Body/Tissue Memory **csa** (trigger) » happykat, posted by Daisym on November 26, 2006, at 23:22:53

Daisy,

Thank you so much for your post. I almost cried when I read it. I am sooooooooo relieved!

> The hard part for me is feeling the arousal in my body even though my mind is horrified and terrified. It makes me "leave" my body and find a safe place on the ceiling.
>
OMG! That is exactly what happened to me. It kept happening when my neck was turned to the side. It was disconcerting to have the arousal mixed with terror/fear. I don't know why but I was so ashamed and afraid to talk about it. Plus sometimes its so hard to put the feelings into words.

> Worse - my therapist knows me well enough now to figure out that I'm having a body response. Sometimes it is a weight on my chest or my thighs hurt, but other times it is pain in very private parts. I wiggle my foot, cross my legs, curl up on the couch and almost always clutch a pillow. He wants me to tell him what I'm feeling, which is hard to talk about, but suppressing it makes it worse.
>
I completely understand!!

> Were you able to talk about what you were feeing with your therapist? I think the touch part would provoke a strong response from me too.

I have a hard time communicating with my T. The touch aspect is very difficult. I actually quit therapy last month because I was tired of having anxiety attacks on my way to therapy. It started to get to where I dreaded getting on the table. I've ended up going back because I started feeling like I was going to disintegrate.

Thanks for responding. It means so much to know that others are going through the same.

Thanks,
happykat :)


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