Posted by indigogal on November 7, 2006, at 16:11:26
In reply to I hint but..., posted by Dinah on November 6, 2006, at 19:54:18
Hi Dinah,
I don't have time to read all the other posts right now b/c I'm at work, so I apologize if I'm repeating what's already been said. I *definitely* think you should say something to your T.In response to, "Or maybe he thinks that would only be fair, since he knows I talk about him here".... No. Honestly, one thing has NOTHING to do w/ the other. He is the professional. You are allowed to talk about your therapeutic experience (and your therapist) with whoever you choose to. He is *not* allowed to talk about his clients w/ whoever he chooses to. There are ethical guidelines (assuming he's a licensed professional) that dictate this. Yes, he can say general things like "In my experience w/ depressed patients..." but he really shouldn't be telling you about any one specific patient. He also shouldn't burden you by telling you that something is stressing him out. He needs to deal w/ that OUTSIDE the therapy room, not with his patient. It has nothing to do w /you. Perhaps he's gotten lax about it b/c you've been with him for awhile and he obviously feels comfortable w/ you. But I certainly think it's within your rights (and in fact, I think it's necessary) for you to tell him that you're not okay w/ this.
I *know* that if I were in your position, I would feel very much the same way as you. On the one hand, I would feel good that he was sharing info w/ me that he previously had not shared. It would make me feel like he trusted me, and like I was special. BUT that feeling comes w/ a price, as you've learned. It is totally normal to feel the way you're feeling... worrying that if he's telling you about other clients, that he's telling them about you. Which is why I think you need to get this out in the open and tell him how you feel. I think it will serve as a wake-up call for him, as perhaps he doesn't realize just how comfortable he's become w/ you and how it's negatively affecting you. The last thing you need in therapy is to be worrying that your therapist is going to tell his other clients about you. I would also worry that he was judging me negatively to others, since those are the impressions he's giving you of his other clients. Not that he is, but I'm just saying that would upset me and I would worry about that. It is human nature to assume that the way one treats you might be similar to how they are treating others. Anyway, the point of this long-winded post is to say... 1) You are totally normal for feeling the way you're feeling in this situation. 2) What your T is doing is not appropriate. 3) I definitely think it's a good idea to point out to him how his behavior is affecting you. Good luck & please keep us updated!
poster:indigogal
thread:701055
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/701344.html