Posted by wishingstar on October 27, 2006, at 19:36:31
In reply to Re: Well, of course Laurie is right -- she's the T » wishingstar, posted by Racer on October 26, 2006, at 0:51:48
I do recognize the problem with thinking I have to do something major to qualify as an emergency and get my Ts attention. I know I shouldnt have to do that. But the reality is that it really seems like I do lately. But yes, that IS her problem/mistake, not mine. There is a lot of parent-issues wrapped up in this for me (being drastic to get attention) so that's probably part of it.
I dont have a specific regular slot on Fridays with Laurie, but it's always been either 10, 11, or 12. Sometimes I dont get to choose, which is fine, but at least one slot has always been there. I dont really know if I have the strength to ask her about that though. It feels incredibly selfish and.. I dont know, something.. to me. I guess I can cognitively understand that it isnt selfish, but it feels like it. I have a very hard time asking for things from people, even if theyre things I probably deserve. Plus, I'm afraid she'll just bring it back around to the borderline stuff and abandonment issues. She was SO much better as a T before she got hooked on this borderline business. Now everything I do just falls into that category. I may be able to bring that part up with her.
I wrote about this in the thread below, but Ginny has agreed to see me twice a week now. That makes it easier to not care about what Laurie does. (I still care, quite a bit, but not as much).
I was just writing about how I was upset Laurie never called today, and the phone just rang. It was her. The call was okay.. I dont know. I told her I wouldnt be there on this coming Friday since I'll be in partial and she just told me to drop her a line sometime and let her know how I'm doing. That sounds so much to me like "okay, we're done now.. but keep in touch sometimes". I really wanted to hear that she wanted to see me again, at least for a termination. But its okay. I can NOT let myself get upset over this. I have Ginny. Ginny is good.
poster:wishingstar
thread:697594
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/698271.html