Posted by wishingstar on September 27, 2006, at 16:27:43
In reply to Re: Sorry for disappearing (very long) » wishingstar, posted by Daisym on September 25, 2006, at 23:32:59
Daisy, I know what you mean. I agree with what you said... even in my better moments (months, etc) the suicidal feelings are still in the back of my mind. I dont know if that will ever go away, but I think I can handle it. It's these moments where its so intense.. I'm just so tired of them. Why keep fighting it if I'll just end up here again anyway? (rhetorical question, I know the answer intellectually).
Unfortunately I cant really drop any classes this semester. I take 2 courses and then a credit for my thesis, which adds up to 9 credit hours. This is full time for my program, but anything less wouldnt be. If I drop anything, I lose my assistantship, which pays my tuition and a $7000 stipend (my only income). Maybe less important, I'd also lose the laptop they gave me. There's no way around that issue. It's really drop out or stay full time. I dont want to drop out.
Thanks for your advice.. I'm planning to go to the video store tonight. I'll try to get something to make me laugh a little. I could use it.
poster:wishingstar
thread:689266
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060926/msgs/689650.html