Posted by ElaineM on September 13, 2006, at 16:42:36
In reply to need a bit o' babble supportin' » alexandra_k, posted by llrrrpp on September 13, 2006, at 9:30:19
LL: I think he was pretty insensitive. I'm sorry you feel like you are a burden and have to get through psychological-life on your own. I kinda don't think anybody can -- or should. (((((LL)))))
>>>>>I wonder if the reason he kept going on like this was because he was testing me. To try to get me to say something like "This is upsetting me. Can we talk about something else?"
Possible, though I wish he'd pick some other subject to faciliatate such a therapy techinique. I think you had every right to be very upset by him persisting with the topic, in the way you described. I mean there's candor, and then there's being cavalier -- which I hope it wasn't. I'm not saying he doesn't know what he's doing, or isn't nice, I'm just protective of my friends. I still think that it'd be good to mention how it did upset you -- and that would kinda be like a Post-It moment itself.
>>>>And I flunked the test. Rather than talk about my feelings (which is one of my big areas to work on) I used every defense mechanism I had- sarcasm, verbal sparring, humor, and eventually, fleeing the scene of the crime...
I don't think you flunked. Yes, you are skilled with words, but you know, part of his job is to see behind that. You sound like you're trying to make up the test and write it, all at the same time. (((LL))) If he noticed you getting aggitated, and asked what was going on, do you think that you would've brought up your list? Or do you fear that if you appeared to need to be treated with more sensitivity, that you'd lose the raport and all his stories and jokes?
>>>>I wish that when I am feeling better I still felt like it was "okay" to talk about uncomfortable stuff. I feel like I have to get into the mentality that just because my mood and cognitive symptoms are much improved, doesn't mean that I can stop participating in healing. I just wish that the healing weren't so painful.
I think it's "easier" to ask for help when you're at the bottom -- a touch of desperation probably. But when you're anywhere else but there, it's hard. What you're talking about makes me think of AN: just because the weight goes on, doesn't mean you're recovered, and doesn't mean you don't need gentle help anymore. If anything, that's when I always needed it most of all. I think it's the same for most conditions. Just because you're meds are working, just cause you're not at your lowest anymore, just cause you have the wit, doesn't mean you don't deserve to be taken care of in the "warm and fuzzy therapy" way sometimes. I don't mean tons of hugs and all, but I think you want to know that he cares. And that's not selfish -- that's just human. Just because you're feeling stronger, doesn't mean you have to *be* strong all the time.....okay that sounded like a load of crazy cr@p, but I'll just pretend you know what I mean ;-)
And as far as the bravery thing goes, I've been stockpiling all the encouragement you've been giving me for weeks incase you ever needed a little of it back yourself. So you may have as much as you like :-) Please say how it goes: even if you only manage to say one of the points.
blove, EL
poster:ElaineM
thread:685453
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/685659.html