Posted by llrrrpp on September 13, 2006, at 9:30:19
In reply to Re: Taking a dump gotta loada crap in my head, posted by alexandra_k on September 13, 2006, at 9:04:29
> maybe...
>
> you could talk to him about making a time... some time when you are settled in to the session and are kinda semi sorta relaxed... where he asks you specifically if there is anything in particular that you would like to talk about.oh boy. that would be indicating that I *need* therapy. hahaha
> so there is a moment... if the timing is right... where you have the opportunity... to tell him what you have on your post it note.
been waiting for weeks now. it's my moment to make, not his.
> and if you don't have anything then its okay you can keep joking and stuff. sometimes its good to joke when you are coming out of a depression. joking around can be a good way to feel more comfortable around each other too so that you feel better able to say what is on the post it note. but then sometimes... it can be counter-productive too.
joking is good. i like having rapport. it makes things more comfortable. but in my life I've been plenty comfortable with people that I wouldn't trust further than I can throw them.
>
> sometimes... t's just mistime / misjudge things. maybe... he didn't think you had anything in particular to say. maybe... your nervousness about what you wanted to say came across as anxiety about seeing him more generally so he was trying to help you feel more comfortable. of course... i have no idea really.
>
> but i know i've been to many sessions where what was on the post it note never got said.
>
> because i didn't feel like there was an appropriate time.
>
> so... if he doesn't want you to email him what is on the post it note he will just have to make time for you to say it :-pI think you are dead-on absolutely correct with this assessment. I wish that when I am feeling better I still felt like it was "okay" to talk about uncomfortable stuff. I feel like I have to get into the mentality that just because my mood and cognitive symptoms are much improved, doesn't mean that I can stop participating in healing. I just wish that the healing weren't so painful.
I also have to learn to trust T again, I trust him with depressed llrrrpp, but I'm not sure I trust him with regular ol' llrrrpp. I'm not sure that he can handle me when I'm regular. I'm not sure that he has much to say to me, or gives a crap about me. That's a problem, I guess.
maybe I should send him an e-mail that says: ask my about my post-it note next session. simple, plain, benign.
I've had the contents of the post-it note in my head for weeks and months, but have only recently screwed up the courage to write it down on a post-it note.
And more recently still to have the guts to post it on babble.
I will need a bravery transplant to utter the post-it note words to his face.
I can think of some bravery donors... um, elaine? you there? you've got some you can loan me for an hour next week, right? and I know lots of others too.
Muffly will hold my hand, right muffly?and Alexandra, would you mind if I give you the role of being my accountant? I will answer to you, one way or another about whether I say them
5 essential post-it note points of my fears of human attachment? expect an update next week.
boo hoo.
I'm going to write T an email now. before I chicken out. but I'm going to schedule the e-mail to be sent closer to my session.-ll
poster:llrrrpp
thread:685453
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/685542.html