Posted by Racer on September 9, 2006, at 17:28:22
In reply to my T's match.com profile, posted by inimitable on September 9, 2006, at 14:53:23
> and lately he's been telling me he feels (in therapy) that i'm not really with him, i'm not letting him IN, not trusting him or depending on him or whatever. but i don't keep him out on purpose,
Of course you're not doing it on purpose! And I'll share what's only a knee jerk reaction on my part, too: if he thinks it's your job to open up, without any effort on his part to draw you out, then he's not much of a T.
Yes, the more you can open up in therapy, the more you're likely to get out of it. But as the client, it's not your job to create a safe environment in which to do so. That's part of what the T should be doing -- creating an environment in which you can feel safe enough to open up. That means no short cuts to earning your trust, no frustration that you won't "let him in," no impatience with the process.
I started to write a very long post continuing this theme, offering some of my own experiences, but I won't make anyone read that much. What I said above probably covers the topic...
Meanwhile, I'd have clicked, too! I think only someone with incredible boundaries OR a COMPLETE lack of imagination would have been able to resist... (Come to think of it, maybe I would enjoy window shopping match.com this afternoon myself?)
poster:Racer
thread:684507
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/684538.html