Posted by sunnydays on September 8, 2006, at 22:32:26
Okay, so I feel really bad posting this when so many people are having a hard time right now, but here goes. And I'm paranoid my T reads this, but I guess I'll chance it. It just meant so much to me. My T and I were talking today and I asked him at one point if he was sick of me. He said no, and we were talking some more about different things. And then I said, are you sure you're not sick of me? And he said yes, and asked me why I wanted to know, was I picking up on something or did he say something, and I said no, but then he asked if I was sure. And he had suggested a group earlier, and I said I was worried that that meant he was sick of me, and he said it absolutely didn't, that he expected to keep seeing me, that he appreciated me and wasn't at all sick of me and that he wouldn't abandon me. And we talked about how this is probably old tapes that are telling me this. And he said that it's just what happens when you 'develop feelings for someone' and aren't used to it.
So that was really nice, and I really felt held then, almost, if that makes any sense. So why tonight am I convinced again that I'm too much and that he's sick of me? I sometimes email him, and I'm afraid to email him because I think he's sick of me. But I know he's not, because he was so nice to me today.
Again, I hope I didn't upset anyone by posting that. I just am kind of torn up about it, and it's so confusing and it makes me sad almost that I can't make it stick in my head. Has anyone else had their T tell them they will be there for them and then managed to convince themselves otherwise? I don't know, I'm just confused.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:684352
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/684352.html