Posted by fallsfall on July 4, 2006, at 10:06:36
In reply to Uncertainty -- I'm not very good at it..., posted by Racer on July 4, 2006, at 2:22:35
I'm not good at uncertainty either.
I remember wanting to get pregnant so badly. It was an incredibly intense feeling.
I hadn't put two and two together with your body image issues and getting pregnant. That is quite a challenge. Have you gained weight so that your body will be stronger to carry your baby? That is such a loving sacrifice. I stopped smoking when I wanted to get pregnant, but my "sacrifice" pales in comparison to yours.
Can you learn something from knowing us online? That you ARE more than your outer container? That your body is simply there to hold your self so that we can know you?
I understand the need to control. I spend lots of time doing little things that are control-like (unfortunately cleaning is not one of them). I play computer games because they are predictable and I can master them. I play with my Zome toy, because it is orderly, yet I can put it together in seemingly random ways, but because there is order in the world (and the toy) they "work" (www.zometool.com). I have colored geometric patterns (some from coloring books, some I draw my own). These all give me some control, allow me to make order in my world that feels chaotic.
I have met you in person. But I won't tell you that you are physically lovely because I don't think that it is relevant. You are a lovely person - THAT is relevant.
You are choosing uncertainty right now. The reward if things go well will be awesome. The cost of that reward is tolerating the uncertainty. What a therapeutic opportunity! You will never have more important motivation to tolerate uncertainty.
What a brave choice.
Falls.
poster:fallsfall
thread:663903
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060703/msgs/663950.html