Posted by corafree on June 20, 2006, at 10:05:50
In reply to Re: Any CBT or DBT or other advice? » corafree, posted by Dinah on June 20, 2006, at 7:49:11
But, ... I could only see my DBT therapist.
She said it would be a conflict of interest to see a therapist outside the DBT realm.
Hiding all my feelings from my children, my co-workers, my family, ... so overwhelming you just need to vent, but it wasn't acceptable. I had to be the 'perfect and strong person' they always knew. Gosh it's been hard.
I think I should have had immediate one-on-one therapy after the domestic violence w/ a good therapist. But I was traumatized and hence confused about my ability to make decisions. I was in a women's group, but stopped going as felt some discomfort there. Not sure ... think it's something about women being honest w/ women.
I was a victim who never rec'd any justice. My attorney at the divorce didn't want to make mention of the abuse and I didn't argue. She was cheap and strange.(?) Like said, I was so traumatized that I couldn't find my way then and I'm afraid I still haven't. I lost my father, my backbone and best friend, a couple years back. Sometimes I think that's when I gave up this fight.
I think the 'injustice and invalidation and the whole cover-up' is what has kept me 'stuck'.
Yep ... I still feel like my feelings are not important. Everyone said I'd feel so much better w/o him in my life.(?) And I learned in DBT even more ways to dissipate my feelings.
I'm sorry ... do you kind of understand?
I am glad that now, in my State, the abused doesn't have to make the 'go to jail' decision. It's now just a given. I could never do it to my husband. The strong and confidant me had changed ... I felt like I needed him, like my lungs needed air. Hmmm ... ridiculous and real.
Now I feel like you and others that have read this followup will avoid reading my threads or posts. I think I've reached my 'limited' number of followups here anyway.
love, cf
poster:corafree
thread:658323
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/659137.html