Posted by Karolina on June 18, 2006, at 2:48:38
In reply to Re: what was i thinking?! » Karolina, posted by fairywings on June 16, 2006, at 18:13:59
Thanks Tamar, happyflower and fairywings.
He’s never even mentioned the word transference before. So I feel kind of bad, like I’ve backed him into a corner. I’m not sure he’ll know how to deal, although we’ve kind of talked about all this before. Except this time I just went much more into detail about what I feel for him. I feel guilty because it’s like I’ve set him up or something, I told him it felt like rejection knowing he didn’t like me like that. He says he finds me attractive and I’ve just admitted to finding him the same way. So if 2 people find each other attractive…can they become attracted to each other? I really have no idea what I’m talking about right now. I feel so out of it and overwhelmed by these feelings.
I want to feel loved by him but I want to feel lusted after too. I’m so mad at myself for letting all these feelings get in the way. Even though I told him that maybe we could look at this whole feeling as a way to explore my feelings towards other relationships, I’ll be honest that a big part of me doesn’t want his help, that instead I want *him*…what is wrong with me?!?! He’s my freaking THERAPIST!!
Last time when we had kind of talked about all this, he said it wasn't wrong for me to feel this way. But I think it kind of is...he's married and sOoO much older than me! I'm SO confused. And wouldn't his wife get pissed if she knew he had given me such a long hug like that? I prob. would be.
And yea…it does feel like he sits too close sometimes, kind of too up in my face. It kind of makes me paranoid. But I don't think he thinks about it being too close, I really have no idea. Oh well.
poster:Karolina
thread:657462
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/658212.html