Posted by Karolina on June 15, 2006, at 22:43:45
Ok…I know I’ve been posting all about my intense feelings towards my T and I finally saw him today. the conversation was extremely dull for the most part. I had written down this thing about how I felt towards him and had been planning to give it to him during the appointment but just didn’t have the nerve to do it. it would have felt so awkward esp. because he always sits so close to me, like this past time, if had I stood up my chest would practically be in his face! I decided to give him what I wrote at the very end before I walked out the door, saying it was a hard issue for me to talk about so I’d decided to write about it. he was really nice about it and was like ‘ok great well I’ll read about it and then we can talk about it next time’…
anyway in the thing I wrote out, it talked about how I still felt attracted to him and thought he was hot! And that I had fantasized about him but wished I could stop wanting him like that, and all this other stuff. I can’t believe I wrote all that! it felt good to write it all out because it truly described how I felt (and I had added that everything felt more intense lately probably because I recently broke up with my BF) but still! I wanted to slap myself as soon as I drove away. I feel like the biggest hoe ever. I have no idea what he will say to me. how are T’s supposed to handle this type of thing, without hurting their clients’ feelings? I feel like I’ve put him in a really bad position. I don’t know why I did this, because I know all he will say is that nothing can happen and then I will feel even worse – even though today he complimented my appearance again! I don’t know what is going on. should I cancel my next appointment? I don’t think I can face him after this.
-Karolina-
poster:Karolina
thread:657462
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/657462.html