Posted by llrrrpp on June 15, 2006, at 23:02:20
In reply to Please, anyone help me, posted by curtm on June 15, 2006, at 22:48:24
hi,
I feel that way.
Seriously- I want zero social or intellectual stimulation one minute. Complete apathy. And then add another layer of? something like mourning/loneliness.I isolate myself, and then when nobody calls me or e-mails me, I feel rejected. Actually, I'm the one who rejected them in the first place. It's completely illogical.
Here's my nugget of infantile/naive insight: Somewhere I learned that I don't deserve to be happy. So I try to set up situations where I won't be happy (like setting up a whole weekend around a house-arrest-like isolation). Then I add insult to injury and try to punish myself by telling me that I'm a miserable loser because nobody likes me enough to call me. All the while, there's another urge that someone needs to be taking care of me- why won't any one call me and ask me how I am today? They don't call because I'm a loser, because I'm so low. And so on and so forth... It's like some kind of vicious conflict.
The key is to recognize when you're doing the rejecting (i.e. by isolating yourself) and to separate that from the situation when someone is actively rejecting you. Passive rejection is rare. You're probably oversensitive to it. I hope your brand spankin' new T can help you figure out why you set up this belief system and how to recognize its flaws...
best of luck to you C
yours,
l
poster:llrrrpp
thread:657465
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/657470.html