Posted by orchid on June 9, 2006, at 18:04:40
In reply to Ivy league TRIGGER, posted by llrrrpp on June 9, 2006, at 16:22:55
I am so inspired by your honesty and courage and insight. I was kind of the same too. Topper throughout, and though not as prestigious as IVY league, our college also was considered to be where the creme of the creme goes, and I was one of them and was a topper there too. And I did make it out big and ended up in what you may say the creme of the creme companies. But Boy, was I suffering.. crying and feeling jealous and envious, and feeling competetive and living up to the expectations. WAs it miserable!!. But it wasn't really the academics or the pressure that got me down - I was capable of handling them with ease. It was the fact that my emotions weren't attended to that was harder. And to top that, everyone around me thought I was always such a happy person - everyone saw me only smiling and happy and cheerful - nobody realised the hurt that was eating me alive inside.
Boy, I owe my first T and my husband for getting me out of that mess for my life time. I would never forget that.
> NO! [gasp!]
>
> Oh my god!!!
>
> IVY league students? they hurt themselves?!?! Impossible! The kids with the pressure from all sides to be perfection. To have an application that represents the pinnacle of achievement? Community Service, Test Scores, GPA, A Save the World type Hobby, Being CEO of a multi-national corporation before the age of 18.
>
> I had no idea that such individuals might suffer from psychopathology.
>
> Well. this should just go to say that being smart in school is not the same as being able to make decisions that will lead to lifelong happiness. Having a degree from an Ivy League institution does not render one immune to insecurity and feelings of wanting to die.
>
> Cutting in the high achievers. Well. I guess I'm one of them. Have a fantastic academic portfolio. Yep. On paper I'm la creme de la creme. And inside--- I'm hurting badly (sometimes, not always). The cutting, and SI is a way of saying to the world- take my hurting seriously. Listen to me! I'm screaming and no one hears me!! they only hear my smiles, they don't read my psychotic journal entries, they only read my scholarly papers. They don't care to ask about my emotional health, they assume that the proper answer to "how are you" is "I got an A on my last quiz".
>
> Poor poor kids...
>
> Cornell's gorges.
>
> -ll
poster:orchid
thread:654845
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060604/msgs/654967.html