Posted by Jost on June 8, 2006, at 3:03:38
In reply to Re: feeling so pathetic..., posted by Karolina on June 2, 2006, at 11:53:43
>
> My main worry is that I don't think he has been trained in how to handle attractions, or if he has, that he doesnt have to use his training much in his practice. He mainly sees adolescents and young adults. (I'm 20) Maybe it has come up before with other girls (although I hope not...but that's just me being jealous again about his other relationships with patients) so I'm kind of worried that he'll feel really awkward. And I don't know what I would do if he felt too awkward and tried to refer me to somebody else.
>
> I just don't want him to get freaked out; with me being a 20 year old girl who fantasizes about him sexually (it might sound weird but this man is actually VERY good-looking for his age...he is really hot!), when he has a 20 year old son himself. Some of these feelings have come up before and that's when he had said he was very flattered by my attraction to him and it made him feel great to know that a girl my age liked him and had complimented my physical appearance. but I worry that for some reason now things are different, that now he'd roll his eyes and be annoyed by this. I think the only reason why I want to try and talk about it again is because the feelings are more intense. And I actually do think maybe they have to do with feelings I have about other people right now (like feeling alone without my boyfriend) so I wish we could find some therapeutic value to the attraction. Thanks again for you all's help.
>
> -Karolina-Hi, Karolina. If your therapist has a PhD in psych, he's certainly must have had training, both theoretical, and clinical, in how he can conceptualize and handle intense situations, of which what you're experiencing is one. Whether he's able to put that training into use in an actual clinical situation--or if he doens't have a PhD--is a harder problem.
If you sense that he isn't trained in this area, or is reacting in an overly personal and interested way, it could be a warning sign.
I don't want to go off on a tangent-- but if he touches or hugs you in a sexual in way (or way that doesn't seem sufficiently clearly not sexual) that could, given your feelings, put you in the way of harm.. Beyond training, these situations call for a T with deep inner security, and solid, stable boundaries, not threatened or overly stimulated, (I think) to create a safe environment.
If the touching were more fatherly, or motherly, or that of a kind sentimental friendship,I'd see it as different. Your desire for contact, and fear about not being hugged, esp. when you're leaving, would be important to explore. And I hope would be safe to have.
Is there some reason you doubt his level of training? or his level of sexual interest or response to your sexual interest?
Jost
poster:Jost
thread:651331
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060604/msgs/654341.html