Posted by orchid on May 26, 2006, at 17:13:59
In reply to I think I'm crazy (possible triggers), posted by Tamar on May 26, 2006, at 16:08:15
-------Orchid
I am glad you posted. I think writing itself will give you more clarity. Hugs to you.Your feelings very well could have changed. I feel every T relationship will bring out different stuff from us at different points - some adultlike, some childish, some monster like and some cutie pie like. I think what you are going through is the more teenager parts of it, and it is quite likely it is in response to you innermost needs which were not met as a teenager. And it is normal to feel different ways about our Ts at different times. It just means that different parts need to be worked out differently and attended to differently. The issue however is finding a T who is able to recognize it and willing to work through it and who is able to listen to what you are telling him *at that point of time*.
And as I said to HappyFlower, I think your T also has his limitations and lacks little bit of emotional depth and understanding needed to help you fully. Not that he isn't a good T, but I think he lacks little bit of expertise needed to help you. A person with more emotional understanding and depth would have been able to guide you more I feel.
You are not wrong in expecting him to be perfect. It is very valid expectation on your part, especially when trying to work out through very emotional aspects. Rather it is wrong on his part, (or maybe incapability), to keep his stuff and emotions outside of the hour, and present a constant and reliable facade to you.
By becoming distant sometime and becoming close sometime, he is confusing you (not intentionally of course). I agree with others that a person with more expertise on working with transference and psychodynamic types would have been better and not CBT. He probably doesn't have the necessary training.
One thing you cann do to work around it is, maybe bring this post to him. And what other people have commented on it. And see what he says about it. IF he recognizes his own limitations, maybe he will able to find a way to get that strength within himself to help you out.
Remember though, that you are one of the dream patients any therapist could have. So if there is something going not well, then it is absolutely not your fault. What more can a therapist have than a patient with as much insight as you? And if he is not able to work with that to the full extent, then that is HIS limitation. I hope you don't bang yourself about your inadequacy.
And regarding talking about faith, I think your T might be avoiding it, due to fear of suing or legal action etc. I don't know how much Ts are allowed to talk about faith issues. Maybe asking him about it would break the ice.
If he doesn't listen to your saying that you know he has boundaries and are not trying to push it, maybe just be blunt with him. Tell him something like, "look, I really do know you have those boundaries, and I damn well know it. Just don't keep repeating it" - or something like it.
Also at the end, I think a more psychodynamic or more emotional T would help. It is hard to make an cow do a horse's job or vice versa :-).
poster:orchid
thread:648983
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060526/msgs/649017.html