Posted by wishingstar on May 13, 2006, at 10:00:57
In reply to Re: she called me back! » wishingstar, posted by annierose on May 12, 2006, at 22:13:33
I'm not really angry about the 8:27 thing.. I threw it in more as a side note than a big issue. The only thing that makes me unhappy about it was that it was 8:27am, not pm..... too early for me! :)
I guess I know that my reaction is so intense partly because of my own "issues".. but I dont want to be open minded with her right now. I dont really care what the reason is.. and I know that isnt very sensitive.. but I dont. This was the first time (I'm pretty sure) that I've ever called her to ask for help when things are going badly in all the time I've been seeing her (probably about a year). Asking for help and verbalizing emotions are very hard for me. I guess if I had called many times in the past and she'd been there, it'd be easier to push this off to the side as a mistake.. but it's just hard because it was the first time. I was thinking last night that it's sort of like a person who is afraid to fly, for instance, and on their very first flight, the plane crashes. They live, but no way in heck are they getting on another plane anytime soon. Sure, that's much more extreme than this.. but it's how I'm feeling.
I am going to try my best to tell her what I'm angry about so that we're on the same page. I'm just really afraid she won't get it. I know I cant control what she does, but if she'll just say that she's sorry or take even a small part of the responsibility here (rather than brushing it off to my problems completely), I think I'll be able to move on. But she HAS to see her part in it for me to be able to trust her. Maybe that's crazy. I dont know.
Just a side note.. when I read your post, and saw your name, I had a big moment of paranoia. What you posted sounded a little like something my T could have said, and her name is Anne. Yikes! Dont worry, I'm over it now.. it was just a brief moment of "what if..." :)
poster:wishingstar
thread:641585
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060505/msgs/643412.html