Posted by pegasus on March 31, 2006, at 11:42:39
In reply to Heretical thought, posted by Dinah on March 30, 2006, at 12:22:48
Yes, it's so painful, isn't it. I've had to ask myself that question as well. Personally I've concluded that I'd rather have all of the gains I've gotten through therapy, even if I also have to have the pain. I'm so much better off in so many areas of my life. I can't even begin to list them all.
And, yes, I also do have this really deep and persistent pain over the ending of that relationship. Which I'd truly like to not have.
It's not only a cost/benefit analysis, though. There is a beauty to having had the relationship itself, quite apart from therapy benefit. It was really a good relationship, and I'm proud of having managed to have it. I'm glad to have the memories of the good parts of it now. Yes because they help me be healthy, but also because they were just positive, warm interactions that I value for their own sake. Even if it is also often quite painful to remember parts of it.
peg
poster:pegasus
thread:626600
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060325/msgs/627089.html