Posted by TherapyGirl on March 30, 2006, at 19:44:33
In reply to Heretical thought, posted by Dinah on March 30, 2006, at 12:22:48
Dinah, I've had a long couple of days with more family drama and my T is on vacation this week, so please forgive me if what I write isn't as clear as it otherwise would be.
I have seen my T for 21 years, but stopped going for about 7 years from 1996 to 2003. I checked in over the phone about once a month or every other month and we occasionally met somewhere for lunch. As attached as I had been to her before that time (and as anxious as I was up until that time to be without her), the 7 years were fine. My intense attachment to her was gone -- it was like I couldn't even remember how intense it had been. And I handled my life okay and was relatively happy.
So, of course, now I'm on the other side of a new trauma and seeing her again every week and every one of the feelings/separation anxiety/attachment issues has come back up. When it started again, I completely freaked out. But she told me that this is what nearly everyone does under tremendous stress -- they revert back to previous patterns of handling it and "neediness" (my word, not hers). She is not at all worried about it and thinks I will reach the middle ground regarding her again. I sure hope so, because she'll be retiring in a few years and I need to be ready to deal with that.
As far as your other question -- I truly believe I would be dead without therapy, and specifically without my relationship with this therapist. She did what no one else has ever done for me -- gave me a safe place, taught me how to make myself safe (most of the time) when I'm not with her and let me experience being connected to her, with all of its ups and downs. I've learned how to be mad at her without leaving or going overboard with my anger, I've learned how to tell her I'm hurt, heck I've learned how to talk about my childhood issues period. The first 4 years in therapy, I sat on her couch week after week in almost total silence.
So, yes, I think therapy does do some good. I know you're in a completely awful place with it right now. But I like how you ask the tough questions and work so hard to process your relationship with your T. I believe you will be okay no matter what happens, but I hear that it doesn't feel that way to you. I'm keeping the good thought for you, though, okay?
poster:TherapyGirl
thread:626600
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060325/msgs/626798.html