Posted by Dinah on March 27, 2006, at 10:08:28
In reply to Yep, I've internalized my mother's criticism, posted by Racer on March 27, 2006, at 1:33:40
Racer, this may seem a bit sacriligious, almost, but can you make a game out of it?
I started finding (most of) my parents' behavior funny instead of hurtful when I started making a game of guessing how many times they'd do any given thing in an evening, or how far they'd go. Then when anything happened, I'd turn to my husband and grin, and we'd have the hardest time not bursting into laughter.
Admittedly it worked the best in places like restaurants or in non-intense periods at home. There were a lot of times when I had to draw lines instead, and tell my dad that if he insulted my son in front of him, or told my mother he wanted to kill her too many times, or tell my brother he was worthless in too much detail, or curse at me too much, I was going to walk away.
But sometimes it worked well with him, and it almost always works well with my mother.
I had a bet she'd go through everything Daddy left her and be dead broke in a year, and end up with huge tax problems. From all I can determine (and all the info isn't in so I could be wrong), she only outlasted my prediction by two or three months and is now living off the insurance proceeds from the flood so she won't be able to fix the house. It doesn't stop the practical problems of course, but instead of just being upset, I also had the satisfaction of having been right.
poster:Dinah
thread:625020
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060325/msgs/625125.html