Posted by kerria on March 25, 2006, at 13:12:36
Everything is so impossibly difficult. i left the a T- yes- the one that everyone here a while ago said that i should leave. Finally there was an extreme incident that demostrated his uncaring and any amount of dissociating couldn't get me over it and i left.
Now i can't find another T. It's so painful what happened- i need therapy to get me ove r the pain of what that T did to me. It's so hard now- i literally don't know what i'm doing on a regular basis. i have parts that live my everyday life and don't know them.
i'm in so much trouble with everything - with work. i almost can't get there at all. Once i'm there i think it's ok. i think i worked 10 hours last week because of being too upset to go in. A few hours a day. It's the busy season at work too.
i don't have anyone 3D that understands why i forget so much and do such a bad job with everything, am upset so much.My parts are acting like enemies, making it impossible to do anything- didn't get to hike today- so upset about cats and vet trip, H angry all the time for ? - every day it's a surprise. Makes my PTSD and DID so much worse. The pelvic pain surgery is coming up - i desperately need to be out of pain. Desperately. i feel like i was beat up.
i need an understanding T that can help me so badly. i called all the lists and all the Ts that the Ts on the list gave me to call. It's so hard to be rejected . So hard to keep on trying.What would you do if you were me?
Thank you for listening. please don't say, "You have to do things for yourself". i posted at another place, communuicating how hard it is- my dilemma on needing and not finding a T and someone said "You have to do the work yourself." Why would someone say that?Being alone and trying so hard to do everything has gotten me in so much trouble and so discouraged also.
What would you do if you were me now?
kerria
poster:kerria
thread:624509
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060325/msgs/624509.html