Posted by Susan47 on February 28, 2006, at 21:10:14
In reply to Crying, Crying all day, just so sad, it hurts, posted by happyflower on February 28, 2006, at 20:26:50
I think about my therapist every day, happyflower. I haven't laid my eyes on him for months and months, haven't heard his voice at all, nothing, nothing I remember but what's in my head. But even when I think bad things, when I remember stuff he did or didn't do that hurt me, even then I would fly to remember the good things that I loved about him, and tell myself and I think there's at least a fifty percent chance it's true, that he is as good as I think he is, and that he doesn't want or wouldn't ever hurt me on purpose, and it was all in my own head, the bad things ... oh god my throat, I hurt so much but I'm crying and my eyes swell up and I look like an old lady. I'm trying not to do that, anymore. I'm trying to remember how sexy he made me feel when he looked at me, and how he seemed to appreciate that I was making an effort, and how I fell in love with that, about seeing that in him, and feeling it directed at me, and now the tears are rolling down and my eyes are red and I'm going to look like hell in about five seconds and tomorrow I will be unreachable.
poster:Susan47
thread:614249
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060225/msgs/614461.html