Posted by Pfinstegg on February 16, 2006, at 1:27:23
In reply to Re: Balancing therapy and life » Pfinstegg, posted by Daisym on February 15, 2006, at 1:09:22
The hurt part was very hard- but also very interesting. We were in one of those non-verbal moments, when my infant part felt so much pain and loneliness. I was lying down, and he got up from beside me and moved around the room. It was so unusual- and frightening! Then he came back, and told me that my (unspoken) pain was hurting him a lot. And that he knew how much it was hurting me. I was very hurt by the abandonment, though it was short-lived, and felt terrible, also, to have hurt him. Getting over it- well, we just talked and talked about it- for weeks! Gradually, the sense of mutual trust and warmth rebuilt, and we were both able to be more comfortable with the tough issues (the neediness, the rage, the fear..). In the process, those feelings lost some of their intensity, I'm really simplifying here, as our relationship is tremendously complicated, with younger parts having their own particular feelings towards him- usually at odds with the feelings other parts have. We both felt that I was better enough to try less sessions. Sometimes, I really miss the daily ones, but I also like having two whole days a week as a grown-up only. They feel real. And I feel he's with me those days, in spirit, cheering me on. It's not set in stone, though; if I really need more, I can ask for them. An awful lot goes on in those three sessions, though, and a little more rest in between is welcome.
I should say that I've had two EMDR sessions, which helped a lot in decreasing the intensity of that particular pain. I'm going to continue that- with other traumatic areas. We need to identify them quite clearly before we do it.
I do hope you work it out comfortably- for you. Just looking on, it seems to me that what you are doing at work is so creative and valuable, and is a sign of your increased strength and health. It doesn't just seem like an obsessive pre-occupation.
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:609357
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060211/msgs/610140.html