Posted by muffled on February 13, 2006, at 13:39:04
In reply to Re: Hey little B2chica » muffled, posted by B2chica on February 13, 2006, at 12:43:33
> little b2 is very upset right now and won't come out. she's afraid to talk. she put tape all over her mouth and won't look at anyone. i'm scared cuz i'm afraid she'll come out like that soon.
***I had a visual image of my kid a few days ago, she was upset too. Kinda hiding under something and wouldn't look at me But I THINK she let me touch her. I'm not sure. She never has before.
> i want to be strong. to show ex T that he did a good job and that i'm ok. and maybe i am, but she's not.
***I think its a big deal that your T has helped you lots, cuz now that your more together, you can help your kid. Just remember she IS a kid, and you have to deal with her on her level. She will probably not trust you for a long time. But she's just like a real life kid and like in real life, you gona have to be very calm and CONSISTANT with her. And kids are not stupid. They know when your patronizing them. And sometimes they get mad at the seemingly strangest things. But y'know, if you persevere, you and your kid will connect in a good way, and then thats SO COOL. Cuz you can help each other. Yeah, my kid helps me too. You can get there with her B2, its worth the effort. She needs you. She just a kid and she mad and confused and she gonna try and piss you off in every way she can think of. But your the big B2, and you need to be like a adult and take care of her. No matter what.
This all sounds so bossy. But anyways, thats how it was for me.
> she's even more afraid now. she's hates new T. she wants to kick her. i don't let her. i won't even let her out anywhere near new T. she doesn't deserve to meet little b2.***mebbe she doesn't need to. Mebbe you just work on big b2 and then big b2 can work with little b2?
> maybe damos can though. maybe he/she can talk to her...if he/she wants to.
***My kid adores Damos :-)
>
> she feels like a ball of fire inside my stomach and everytime i think of her i get worse, so i know it's her in there that's making all these waves of emotion go through me.***Yeah, waves, they do pass, and ebb and flow in intensity. Yeah, just keep talking nice to her, no matter how much she kicks and screams. If she's totally having a tantrum, you may just have to tell her you love her and walk away for a bit. Explain all to her.
>
> everytime someone mentions, memories, or when they were kids, or things like that i get Huge waves of anxiety and derealization. it's so hard!! and i don't even have anyone really to talk to about that..."STUPID LADY she/IT knows NOTHING!!!! I WON"T TALK to "HER"!!!***Maybe big b2 can talk to T about methods of calming and distraction and self soothing etc. I don't think little b2 has to talk to lady right now. But she needs to take the tape off and take some deep breaths. If she wants to stop hurting she's gonna have to let big b2 try and help.
This is all just my opinion in my experience.
>
> sorry.***don't be sorry. Your words, all of them, help me. i don't just want to hear only good stuff. I want to hear what is real.
>
> i have to proctor a test this afternoon, maybe that will give me some time to write. maybe i can let little b2 write as well. if she'll even let me help her...which i doubt. she was buried pretty deep. i think she slipped out up there though.***Thats ok. I know my kid likes to be out sometimes too. And thats ok, as long as she behaves.
> thanks muff.
**thanks b2> fairy place is just nonexistant for me right now. it's not real, no place safe for me is. i have no right to be free and safe.
***OK , mebbe later.
> no one helped me then, so why now.i'm alone yet again.i hate the ache.
***You not alone. Big b2 is there.
>
> "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> FOREVER!***My kid said almost those exact words. But she was just angry. Sometimes she does just want to be alone. Cuz thats what she's used to. Either way its ok with me. And big b2 is really nice, so I'm sure she will be good to you. I made TONS of stupid mistakes with my kid, b2 proly will too. But at least we try. And we not give up on you guys.
Never.
Hope you feel better soon b2.
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:609157
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060211/msgs/609199.html